Bachelor application

Yes I watch the bachelor. So what. Judge me.

You may be unaware but there has never been a black bachelor. I want to be the first. Why not? Someone’s gotta do it. After watching this weeks episode I sent in an online application. This is what it said. Enjoy.

Ok. I’ll be honest. First off I have been watching the show for quite some time. It’s entertaining. However, I have also noticed that there has never been a black bachelor. Yes….I only said black, I don’t use African American because I sometimes am not politically correct. So what.

I will undoubtedly be the most entertaining and genuine bachelor that has ever been on the show. The only reason I know this is because my friend Jackson told me I would be a good bachelor because of how much I care about people.

Jackson is a junior in high school. When he was in the 8th grade he was having trouble with the ladies because he had horrendous hygiene. At this time I was in college and decided I could help the little smelly guy. So I took these matters into my own hands. I went out and made Jackson a hygiene kit and gave him some pointers. He didn’t get any ladies but no longer smelled awful. Afterward he said thank you. This made me happy. Ok, maybe I just got off topic a bit with that. Sorry. I have ADHD. But even though I have ADHD I did graduate college. This means I’m a hard worker right?


Back to why I should be on the show. Here are my good qualities. I am nice, honest, good looking, rich, smart, F’ing hilarious, genuine (Meaning I have good abs like the R&B singer) and above all else I have been showered with humility. Also I love Jesus meaning I will not kiss on the show….but am willing to do many other promiscuous things, like holding hands and stuff.

Maybe I could be the first black bachelor. I play in the NFL and am entertaining and do not have any baby mommas….or babies. I tried all that once. It didn’t turn out well. We wont talk about that though. Ok hope to hear from you guys soon. If not….I will find love elsewhere. Preferably , or Or maybe


Follow me on twitter. Im actually a real person. This is not a joke @baron_batch

P.S  Eventually my friend Jackson got the girl. They hold hands and stuff now. Its cute.


  1. Baron you would def be a good bachelor!!! In the short time I had to spend with you for class I learned that you are possibly one of the most honest and real human beings that I ever had the pleasure of meeting!!

    This did make me laugh and hopefully showed the casting crew that you have a personality and can make fun of yourself and be real!!! Good Luck!!

  2. I rarely watch t.v., but I might watch if you were on it. You forgot to tell them that you are an artist. You do wonderful work! Fingers crossed if you really want to be on it. Good Luck to you!!!!

  3. I love reading your stuff Baron! YOU ARE FUNNY for sure! I haven’t watched that show very often, but I have seen it over the years. I think you would have to do a bit of kissing…well like every girl! They seem to like the promiscuous kissing types when I have watched it.

    Good luck with your “Batch-elor” Quest!

  4. Seriously, you have no comments on this yet!? What a fabulous idea? I mean really, we have a black president, right, why not a black bachelor? You would be a great first representative of black bachelors and bachelors from the NFL! You would be great as you do have all the qualities. OK, but here’s the deal. They will sort of expect you to pick someone to marry in the end! Are you ready for that? You know, at the end, the get down on bended knee with a honkin’ big ring in front of zillions of people and ask some random chick you’ve only know a few months to marry you. Or, at the very least, are you ready for a serious relationship? Just checking. They like that to be the ending. They like to think they are smart enough to pick the girl of your dreams out of however many girls they present to you. You have to dress up a lot and go on dates and meet parents and stuff. Oh, and remember, you have to send those girls home who don’t get a rose and they cry and say bad things about you while they drive away in the limo! I Hope you have thought it all through. I have never watched the bachelor for a season…only a few times on a night when nothing else was on TV. However, if you are selected as THE BACHELOR I promise to watch it all the way through! I’ll be a big fan! It would be a treat. You’ll be great!

  5. Batch, I hope you do get on Bachelor, I watch it also and I think you would be perfect! I so much enjoy your articles! Keep up the good work, you are my hero.

  6. I hope they pick you, dear Baron…you are genuine…i’ll be watching! :)
    (p.s.) please continue to keep my dear nephew Sean in your prayers thanks Baron)
    God bless you!

  7. This is awesome Baron! I laughed a lot. I know that you’ll find an amazing lady, whether you are the Bachelor or not.
    My vote, no Bachelor. Too many people get hurt in the process and too few couples last after the show.
    (3 couples out of 16.5 seasons.)

    I hope you are well!


  8. I like that you are honest and want there to be the first black bachelor. I like how you talked about your friend who was smelly.

  9. I love watching the Bachelor also! Don’t judge! Ha ha. I knew I liked you for a reason! I would love to see you on the show! That way I can get some inside info on your Blog page about the show! : )

  10. I truly wish you the best Baron! We need great Christian men to represent on secular TV! Black Christian men, even better! Also, having a red raider to root for would be sweet.

  11. Dear Baron,

    You always make laugh. You would make a perfect bachelor.

    Today, my uncle passed away. I just wanted you to know how much your last post and painting help me prepare for his death. He was diagnosed with cancer on New Years Day.

  12. Dear Baron,

    You always make laugh. You would make a perfect bachelor.

    Today, my uncle passed away. I just wanted you to know how much your last post and painting help me prepare for his death. He was diagnosed with cancer on New Years Day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>