Yes I watch the bachelor. So what. Judge me.
You may be unaware but there has never been a black bachelor. I want to be the first. Why not? Someone’s gotta do it. After watching this weeks episode I sent in an online application. This is what it said. Enjoy.
Ok. I’ll be honest. First off I have been watching the show for quite some time. It’s entertaining. However, I have also noticed that there has never been a black bachelor. Yes….I only said black, I don’t use African American because I sometimes am not politically correct. So what.
I will undoubtedly be the most entertaining and genuine bachelor that has ever been on the show. The only reason I know this is because my friend Jackson told me I would be a good bachelor because of how much I care about people.
Jackson is a junior in high school. When he was in the 8th grade he was having trouble with the ladies because he had horrendous hygiene. At this time I was in college and decided I could help the little smelly guy. So I took these matters into my own hands. I went out and made Jackson a hygiene kit and gave him some pointers. He didn’t get any ladies but no longer smelled awful. Afterward he said thank you. This made me happy. Ok, maybe I just got off topic a bit with that. Sorry. I have ADHD. But even though I have ADHD I did graduate college. This means I’m a hard worker right?
Back to why I should be on the show. Here are my good qualities. I am nice, honest, good looking, rich, smart, F’ing hilarious, genuine (Meaning I have good abs like the R&B singer) and above all else I have been showered with humility. Also I love Jesus meaning I will not kiss on the show….but am willing to do many other promiscuous things, like holding hands and stuff.
Maybe I could be the first black bachelor. I play in the NFL and am entertaining and do not have any baby mommas….or babies. I tried all that once. It didn’t turn out well. We wont talk about that though. Ok hope to hear from you guys soon. If not….I will find love elsewhere. Preferably ChristianMingle.com , or BlackPeopleMeet.com. Or maybe BlackChristianMingleMeet.com.
Follow me on twitter. Im actually a real person. This is not a joke @baron_batch
P.S Eventually my friend Jackson got the girl. They hold hands and stuff now. Its cute.