When you build a single earthly thing into all you have, by stacking time, effort, emotions, work, dedication, and love into a swaying tower. That thing will become weak.
And at some point …
It all falls down.
Getting cut from the Pittsburgh Steelers was the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through in my life. It was awful. I didn’t think that it would hit me like it did. I haven’t cried in years but that day I bawled my eyes out like a little baby.
Big heavy crocodile tears.
Tears so big that they had tears of their own.
They streamed down my cheeks and pooled into the corners of my mouth where hopeless emotions canoed without direction.
When I got the call to come meet with Coach T and Kevin Colbert the general manager because I was getting released, I punched a hole in the brick wall of my house, straight through to the outside. I didn’t even feel any pain because my emotions were running so high.
I think it gave me super human strength or something like that.
If only I could have tapped into these powers throughout the pre-season maybe I would have done enough to make the team!
“I hate you Baron! I hate you. You let me down.”
“But I gave it my all man! I really did, we both know that.”
“Just shut up. Be quiet. You’re a failure. You squandered such an opportunity. You wasted the only good thing you had. Good luck with life now ya bum!”
With the growing intensity of this internal dialogue also came increased superhuman strength. As I stormed out of my house I didn’t even bother opening the heavy wooden door to exit, I simply reared back and kicked that thing straight off the hinges.
I still couldn’t believe this was happening. I was getting fired. I was losing my job.
And on my day off on top of that!
I was having the one good thing that I had going taken from me. I had put all I had into football and nothing else. And now it was ending.
As I stormed out of my house to my car, I punched the two brick pillars that held the entire weight of my front awning that cover my porch.
With these two powerful anger filled blows, the two pillars disintegrated into dust. And as I began to walk away from the home that I had just remodeled and finally felt comfortable in, behind me it began to crumble into pieces.
My entire home began to fall apart and collapse.
I knew that my football career, my life, and all my talents were doomed to follow.
All the things that I cared about and built were crumbling before me.
And just like the dust cloud that was once my home that sat in rubbles behind me.
All was lost.
I had built a swaying tower. Stacking all I had on top of something with a fairly uncertain base and even more so unstable.
And the thing that I had feared of happening all along, played out in the matter of seconds in the form of one dreaded phone call.
And just like that.
When you stack, and stack, and stack…
It all falls down.
That’s just how most people that don’t know me well assumed I would have reacted.
That isn’t what happened at all.
But come on guys! You all should know better. You know me.
Come back next week to hear the rest.